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Quazark
'' "Press 89 to Retro!"'' - Quazark's catchphrase. It is rumored that whoever he says this to will be sent back in time 20 years. Quazark is Nolagnerc's and Dargah's first cousin, Aluig's second child, and Jauhen's younger brother. Quazark bears a resemblance to his younger cousin, although he has somewhat of a lighter build, more similar to that of Luigi, Lario, or Laruigi. Quazark serves as a technologist for Weegee's Army, often reverse-engineering ancient Weegee technologies, or the technologies of other sapient species. He is one of the few Fakegees said to have survived an encounter with a Spaghettarian, and has helped to perfect a wide variety of their computer systems. Other than that, he is also known as a theoretical physicist, inventor, programmer, engineer, psychologist, and sociologist. History Quazark was born to Aluig and Dulsatirra some unknown amount of time ago. As a child, he had an unusually round body for a Fortran. Some attribute his shape to a magic balloon he found as a child that never fully wore off, others say that his genetics caused him to have a strange reaction to milk, while others simply said that he was fat. Nonetheless, by the age of twenty-eight, his body had mostly thinned out. In spite of his shape, he grew up to be a very sociable and energetic pre-teen, often getting along with his brother Jauhen and his cousins rather well (except for the occasional squabbling with Nolagnerc). He was often considered to be "one of the funnest children" in his class, and would often through rather spectacular and lavish parties, often for little to no reason than to give people a good mood. Service At the age of 20, he was drafted into Weegee's Army to as a Star Guard in the Abmudmai star system. Considering that he got relatively little action done, he'd often just socialize with the other Weegees in his force and would often tend to goof off. However, this would often lead to him getting in trouble, and a few times he accidentally let in aliens and various rebels. As a result, Quazark was demoted to being the janitor for the spaceship Etego. For the next few years, he worked as a janitor for the Etego. The officers noted how careful he would work with electrical wiring, as well as the dashboard of the ship. The captain of the Etego, Kizhang, was impressed by this, and hastily quickly promoted him to be the ship's technician. In spite of his relative lack of knowledge in computing and engineering (for a Weegee that is; he still knew the general basics of Weegee technology, which would stump even the most educated programmers on Earth), he managed to become very skilled at the field through his skills in reverse engineering, problem solving, and simple common sense. Whenever involved in war, he would often steal some of the weaponry and computers from his army's adversaries, dissemble them, and work to combine existing Weegee technology with the tech of their enemies. Many of the inventions he created were heavily inspired by the works of Dr. Scientisteegee himself, and he has even made a duplicate of the Vector Germanium Time Machine (although he is still mostly working on a way to improve how it works, and is trying to figure out how it can be applied to actual science in a moral, practical, and reasonable matter). Abduction Around 2014 A.D., while on duty installing a star cannon onto a ship, Quazark was captured by a group of Spaghettarian bandits. Their intention was to steal and reverse engineer the technologies ''he '' stole and reverse engineered from other Weegees. Luckily, Quazark managed to completely destroy every object that the Spaghettarians captured and set off a bomb in the center of their ship, and his fellow abductees escaped to safety three minutes before it exploded. Recent Events Ever since the abduction, Quazark has mostly mellowed down and shied away from highly advanced technology (although he will occassionally tinker around with random objects he puts together), and has mostly moved towards the lighter and safer video game industry with his brother Jauhen. Toon Quazark.png|Toon Quazark. Category:Crengalons Category:Weegee Family Category:Fathers Category:Jauhen Bros. Category:Fortran Family Category:Non-Recolors Category:Nolagnerc